LOST IN SPACE-HIS MAJESTY SMITH
HIS MAJESTY SMITH WRITER-CAREY WILBUR DIR-HARRY HARRIS NARRATION: Last week as you recall, Will had joined Dr. Smith and the Robot in a search for wild truffles, little dreaming they would find something far different, something that would plunge them into an incredible adventure with creatures from another mysterious world. TEASER-fully recapped; very first opening shot is different--it is an extreme long shot and overhead shot which was not in the cliffhanger but is in the teaser. Long shot: Smith carries a basket of tools, Will and the Robot both carry shovels. They are hunting for truffles edible underground fungi. (Troughs, which is what it sounded like are long, narrow, open receptacles for conveying a fluid or for holding food or water for animals; also a long, narrow channel or depression as between ridges on land or waves at sea). They come upon a crown sitting on a pillow set on a rock. Smith tells Will they must have respect for other people's belongings (HA!) and rights and should not handle it. Smith looks at the rubies but when he goes to touch it, Will points his finger, "Ah, ah, ah, Dr. Smith." He smiles. Smith says he just wanted to secure it in case it fell; to which Will nods not believing one single word of it. They move along but Smith tells Will he forgot his basket of tools and goes back to retrieve it, sending the Robot and the boy ahead---something he planned to do all along. He returns to the crown (amid MY FRIEND MR. NOBODY music) and puts it on his head. An electric shock shoots through the crown and Smith grabs at it and his head--a continuous volt charges through it! Will and Robot hear Smith yelling amid lightning and thunder, they run back to him. Will pulls the crown off Smith, who tells him the crown bites. Will warned him but he tells Will to tolerate the weaknesses of others--he couldn't help himself but to put it on. Robot tells him, "There is no danger to the boy." Will puts it on. Smith calls the robot a disreputable dunce. They hear royal music and Nexus of Andronica and his entourage of four men and four women arrive; 19 light years from their system. They are seeking a being worthy to wear the crown. Will says, "I'm Will Robinson, Mr. Nexus, but I'm not a king just from the planet Earth." To prevent weakness, a king and all rulers are selected from off planet. Will refuses--Smith tells him to take his family with him but Nexus nixes that idea. Smith gets Will to take the Robot away so he can try dealing with and conning Nexus. Whoever wears the crown will rule Andronica and all of its subject planets. The person must have judicial wisdom, extraordinary intelligence, and royal bearing. If Smith finds someone among their little group, he will get rewards. Smith tells Nexus he is Irish on his maternal grandmother's side--and all Irish are descended from kings. Smith leaves. Nexus uses an ornament to contact his Master--who answers from his own ornament. Nexus tells him the ruse is working. Answering: an alien with a dark, hairy clawed hand! And a face to match! "Good, good." ACT ONE Smith catches up to Will and Robot, lies to them, and tells Will he told Nexus that their group believes in the democratic principles. Smith doesn't want Will to mention this to the others. Will says, "Dad and Don oughta know that there are aliens on this planet." Smith makes him promise. Will says, "Weeellll, alright but please Dr. Smith, don't start your tricks again---you always get into trouble." Smith says, "Indeed," and moves on. Night--Smith sneaks out of the Jupiter II control room, followed by Will who leaves the door open. Smith goes to the alien construction which may be a base or a ship embedded in the rock. The door opens and Nexus comes out. Smith admits to being curious about their ship (many parts of which the outside is exactly like THE KEEPER's ramp and exterior--also seen in THE TIME TUNNEL-RENDEZVOUS WITH YESTERDAY). Nexus tells him curiosity killed the cat. Smith tells him there is no need for violence and has a dossier on all the male members. John Robinson: a man of simple virtues, whole hearted loyalties, "I am devoted to him but..." Smith goes on to tell how John lacks guile. Major West: Smith calls him a "lovely fellow...I am devoted to him, too, a typical bluff blunt soldier the foremost to go into the fray but he too lacks cunning." Nexus asks Smith about himself. Smith bluffs, pretending he is not worthy. Nexus tries to convince Smith to be their king. Smith says, "Oh, the pain of it, the royal pain of it all." He accepts and wants his friends to attend a coronation. Smith stops at the door to the alien ship, "Oh dear, there are no catches to this, are there?" Nexus tells him no and calls him majesty, lord, and king. Smith says, "King Zachary the First--oh my." ACT TWO Control Room: Will tells John and Maureen about what happened. Don comes up and tells them Smith is gone. Will says, "There was a crown there and they were looking for a king." Maureen wonders if it was a dream. John asks Will, "You say Smith agreed to be their king. Uh, now what kind of a mess has he got himself into." Robot warns, "Danger! Alien artifact approaching!" John tells Don, "Break out the lasers." Nexus comes into the camp and up the ramp. He tells them they are commanded to attend before the royal King Zachary the First. John tells him...and Don they will be there. Day--royal music plays. Smith is on a carry all being fed by a woman, fanned with a feather by another, and served by the other two. He has on a robe, the royal crown. The Robinsons and Don arrive. Will says, "Hi, Dr. Smith." Smith tells him in the future he will address him as his majesty. Smith calls Will over to him--he has chosen Will to accompany him--he is his best friend and heir apparent. Will wants to stay with his family. Smith figures he could find something for the others to do--Major West could be made a court jester. When Don tells Smith to stop making a fool of himself, Smith orders a guard to take off his head, "Fetch yon varmint's head." Nexus whispers to Smith it would be best to avoid an incident. Will goes back to the others, "Come home with us, Dr. Smith, I'll take you fishing." Smith detects moisture in Will's eye, "I believe you will miss me and I will miss you." More royal music. Maureen hopes he will be happier in his new life. The Robinsons leave. Smith and company go into the dark alien spacecraft which, on the inside, has a circular roof with lights all around it. A hairy hand waves over a bubble device on a stall and the court people and Nexus are still, eyes wide open. DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL music. "Your majesty." The hairy faced alien steps out from behind rocks (rocks inside the ship? Or is it a base?). It wears a robe and has a moustache. Smith faints. Later the alien comes back, Smith is tied to a chair. The alien says, "You don't like the look of your devoted subject. I am Andronican." Smith wonders about the human looking Andronicans---they are just androids created by this alien. This was done so Smith would become King for Festival of Sacrifice where people drink gloog and make sleemoth. They will sacrifice in what Smith thinks is a symbolic religious rite---but the sacrifice is to be the king so all can become happy, well, and prosperous in the year to come. They will skin him and stuff him with good stuffing--in 10,000 years he will look the same and stand in the hall of immortal kings. Smith screams as the alien touches him, "Let me out of here!" The agreement to become king is on the hall of contracts of the Council of Planets--very legal. He will wait for the mothership to come and get them. Alien shows Smith on the rock surrounded screen the lower deck of the Jupiter II. NOTE: We see an odd view from inside the galley looking out at the Robot and table. Here, John thinks that is the last they will see of Dr. Smith. Smith gasps, "A callous dismissal of one who shared the dangers and viscidities of their daily life." Maureen is worried about him; Smith says, "Oh dear and gracious lady." Robot informs them of his prime directive--the alien communication to his mother ship will not function. Smith says, "Bless you, my dear friend." Robot explains his prime directive requires him to save humans from danger against their life even if it goes against their wishes. Robot recommends they further study the alien psychology in correlation to primitive rites of sacrificial kings. Smith yells, "Listen to him, you fools! He has more sense than the lot of you!" Alien turns the screen off. The alien says, "Your people want Smith--I give them Smith!" ACT THREE--a very short act The Andronican puts an unconscious Smith on a horizontal half tube. He fills the tube with smoke. Night--John, Don, and Will run to the alien ship camp. John tells them in the ship to surrender Dr. Smith in five minutes or, "...we'll blow you open." Inside, we see the exterior of the DERELICT spaceship model which is part of the alien duplication unit. The phony Smith talks to Smith, then goes out to the men and Will. The alien has a bunsen burner in his ship. He shows Smith the imposter on the TV screen. Smith calls Will a little fool when Will is fooled by the fake Smith, "You little fool, can't you see he's a fraud!" The imposter lies and then John tells him he is going the wrong way to the spaceship Jupiter II. The imposter makes Will go with him--to show him the way. Don wonders about some of the things Smith said when he came out, "That's the first hint of modesty I've ever heard from Dr. Zachary Smith." Don and John leave. Smith gasps, "Come back, it's a trick! Oh, oh dear." ACT FOUR Morning finds Maureen coming out of the ship to a set breakfast with flowers on the table. She calls the girls out, thinking one of them did it. Neither did. Smith comes telling them, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." He did the breakfast, carrying vegetables over in a bucket. He makes the ladies sit down and acts nice to all, even Don. He tells them to call him Zac. Don asks, "Zac? Okay, if that's the way you want it, Zac." As he serves them, Smith tells John he wants to start out on a theory he has about the fuel of atomic ore. Penny thought work was a bad word to Smith and says so. Smith brings the coming out Will--the good boy, Zac says--his breakfast. He tells Will he is almost like a second father to him and to call him Daddy Zac. Pause. Will stares. "Daddy Zac?" Smith sets off to work. John bangs the table, "Will somebody please tell me what's going on here?" Robot, on the ramp top, states, "It does not compute." John laughs and waves his hand at him. Later, Robot and Will watch a construction hat wearing Zac dig. Robot says, "Nothing computes anymore." Smith says, "What a marvelous boon our mechanical friend has been to us." Will asks, "What did they do to you in that alien ship, Dr. Smith?" Zac corrects him. He wants Will to call him Daddy Zac, which Will does. Zac wants to scatter sunshine. Robot states, "My memory banks do not identify you as Dr. Zachary Smith." Zac says, "I must be Dr. Smith." Robot says, "That does not necessarily compute." Zac digs and sings. The real Smith tells the alien he has an influence over the boy--he could still get Will for him to be their king. He tries to con the alien, telling him his ancestors were really peasants and he is a rogue. Smith was always the one they wanted--from the beginning. The alien knows this--it is why he was chosen---they set out the crown as the bait--it rejected him only to make him want to be king more. The reason they don't want a noble mind like John Robinson, great physical courage like Major West, or incipient genius like Will is that they are useful beings...Smith is not. The select useless kings. Smith tells him he will turn over a new leaf--he will be loyal, helpful, trustworthy, friendly, kind, obedient, cheerful, brave, clean, thrifty, and reverent. Alien shows him the Smith the real Smith just described...Daddy Zac. NOTE: This long listing of qualities in this last ditch effort to defend himself also becomes one of the trademarks of Dr. Smith in many future LOST IN SPACE episodes. It is quite funny but after awhile it does not have as much impact as it does in this episode. Smith calls this a bitter blow. Zac was made from the essence of Smith's good qualities and Smith himself--bad qualities emitted. The alien gives Smith gluep--which make stuffing work better. Smith cracks this goblet of drink over the alien's head when the alien turns his back on him--Smith gasps at what he has done but runs...right into a deactivated alien android, which seems like a dummy. The hurt alien manages to get to the door controls. Smith screams but does manage to jump out of the two doors to the exit. He runs for the Robinson camp. The girls help unpack the auto laundry machine--which has wrapped clothes, cleaned and all. Smith comes running, yelling, "Save me!" He tries to explain to Maureen and the girls. Penny asks, "What's wrong Uncle Zac?" Smith gasps, "Don't call me that!" Maureen tries to calm him down but Zac and Will come, shovels over their shoulders, singing "I've Been Working On the Railroad!" Maureen looks, "Good heavens, now we have two Dr. Smiths!" In the Control Room, Zac and Smith sit side by side as John sits and talks to them, "What in the world are we going to do with two of you?" Smith calls the Zac one a mere interloper. John wonders about a suggestion, calling Smith by Zac. Smith says, "Call me Dr. Smith please." Zac calls the real Smith shiftless, unreliable, two faced, a liar, and cowardly. Smith leaves, insulted, but stops and listens at the doorway exit. When Zac is surprised they don't want to get rid of him and that they do want him around, John says, "Well, he was here first and he is human." Zac tells John that he is Dr. Smith with his worse characteristics omitted--but he is just as much Zachary Smith as the real one is with faults gone--just as human, just as real. Smith listens to this, worried but when John says they want to keep the real Smith as much as Zac, Smith puts his head up. John goes on, "With all his faults, Zac, Dr. Zachary Smith is our friend..." Smith exits the Jupiter II ramp and may not have heard what John says next, "...and we don't want to lose him." Later, Smith goes outside to Daddy Zac who is working on the pipes, rebuilding the water system for hot bath water for the ladies. Smith tells him he has already won a place in their hearts, even though he retains all his faults. Zac mentions the alien who has weapons that will make their's look like toys. Smith calls the alien a grizzly creature. Smith tells him, "But I'm the real one with faults and all." He goes on to tell the Zac Smith, "Sacrifice is more in his line than mine." The double effects are excellent in this scene and many others. Night-John and Maureen watch Daddy Zac from the control room window as he digs. Maureen asks, "Which one is that?" John says, "Need you ask." As they look out we can clearly see the rim of the outside window sill, an interesting feature of the Jupiter II main window. John tells her the real Smith is under his bed hiding. Will, Don, and Robot patrol the area. Maureen asks how they will know when the androids are coming. John has the Robot ready to sound an ample red alert but isn't sure the laser or the forcefield will stop them. Robot is confronted by one android, "Danger! Danger! Red Alert! Red Alert!" Another android comes up behind him and pulls out his power pack. John warns Zac, "Smith, inside." Zac feels he cannot take up arms against he who in effect was his creator and is not in danger from the alien. John says, "Alright, have it your way." Don and Will return--they spotted the Robot with his power out. Will says, "Get inside, Daddy Zac. You might get hurt in the cross fire." Zac asks Will to get him the wrench which he left behind the rocks. Will goes and an android is there, confronting him. He falls from the shock of it and runs back as it towers over him. "Dad! Don! They're out there!" John asks, "What? The androids?" No an army of pink grandmothers from outer space! Will says, "Yea, I saw one of em!" They turn on the forcefield and head for the Jupiter doorway but Penny, Maureen, and Judy come out. Lightning and thunder rain around them. The Andronican projects his voice, "Terrestrials, surrender the real Smith and we will not harm you, if you do not surrender him, you will be destroyed." Three androids appear. Nexus walks out from behind a rock and walks through the forcefield (another excellent effect). The alien makes Nexus talk, miming for him. Don is ready to fire his laser rifle but Smith runs out of the Jupiter II to stop him. He will surrender himself. Will says, "No! We won't let you!" Smith calls him a dear little nipper and tells them he will give his life for those he's grown to love, quoting a poem--whether on scaffold or battle span, the fittest place a man can die is where he dies for his fellow man. John asks, "Do you have any idea what they'll do to you?" Smith tells him maybe he can make some kind of arrangement with them and if not, he will be king for a little while. John moves at Smith, "I'm sorry, Smith, you can't do this." Smith halts him by revealing a laser pistol, "Stay back, Professor Robinson, I shall not hesitate to shoot if it means saving the lives of the others. Farewell, dear friends." Smith looks at Will and leaves. He tells the androids if he must go, he will go as king and asks them to fetch him his royal crown and raiment. Another android appears and gives them to him. Smith waves at the others, looking scared, then a flash of lightning and they are gone. Zac comes out of the garden--throws the hat and tools down. Will calls him Daddy Zac and he calls that a revolting name. John laughs, "Now that's the real Dr. Smith!" Don says, "You are Smith." Judy laughs, "Yes." Smith calls Zac a noble fellow and he made him see reason--to take his place. Smith goes up the ramp, "If it is any comfort to you, Major..." he explains that he and the double both believe the Andronicans, who have a horror of waste, will figure out Zac is really a useful fellow and not alter their plans and release him (and hopefully not come back to the planet to get the real Smith!). Smith says, "Daddy Zac! Bah!" He goes in. The girls and Don follow, leaving Maureen and John to confront a glum Will. Will is glad to have the real Dr. Smith back but Daddy Zac was real nice, "I sorta wish that, no, I guess there wouldn't be enough room on one planet for two Dr. Smiths." Maureen and John laugh and take Will inside. (WELCOME STRANGER end theme is heard). CLIFFHANGER: With the Robot standing watch, Smith, Will, and Penny prepare a time capsule. Will gives him the portable thruster used by John; Penny hands Smith mom's space gloves she wore when they left earth. Will tells Penny the Egyptians had time capsules--called pyramids. Will comments they should go--it is late. Smith says, "Never fear, Smith is here--you're perfectly safe." Penny hands Smith his tape--MEDITATIONS OF A GALACTIC TRAVELER: BEING AN ACCOUNT OF COURAGE, FORTITUDE, AND PERSONAL SACRIFICE OF DR. ZACHARY SMITH. When they return to Earth, he says he will be put into the SPACE VOYAGERS HALL OF FAME. They hear a wolf howl. Smith points to the two moons, which are now bursting with fullness. Smith goes on about how the full moon is the night the witches dance, the creatures of doom walk, and dark and dismal voices...he calls this howling a werewolf. Will asks, "A werewolf...on this planet?" Smith says, "Why should this planet be an exception?" Will turns Robot on. Robot says, "Animal noises produced by predator cannis lupis. Volume and pitch indicate predator to be in condition of extreme ferocity." Smith tells Will cannis lupis means werewolf. "We must hurry!" The four go past some trees. Robot warns, "Warning! Warning! Cannis lupis in area! Warning!" Smith says, "We should never have stayed out this late!" Will says, "And whose fault is that?" "This is on time for idle recriminations," Smith says, pointing the way. The trio run right into the werewolf! TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK SAME TIME SAME CHANNEL REVIEW: Though the usual lapses in logic occur, this one is entertaining enough. If the Robot could block the alien communications to his mothership, the aliens couldn't have been that technologically advanced---yet they seem worried the Robinsons might do something or find out the Smith they have is a fake. If they are so powerful, why worry about what the Earthlings know anyway--why even create a double to fool them if you can destroy them like nothing. Perhaps they didn't really want to destroy the Robinsons---fearing waste--but would if they really had to. Harris does a fine job as both Smiths. This episode is actually deeper than at first, it would seem. The Robinsons like Daddy Zac and all because he is nice--he is good to them and they get something out of him---yet they also like the old, real, faultful Smith, too. Since Daddy Zac is Smith's whole without the faults, it could be said, the Robinsons like what may be buried in the real Smith. Many writers missed this point (John Peel for one--he felt the Robinsons should dump the old Smith for this new Zac Smith). The Robinsons are now shallow characters, even if accused by many to be wooden stereotypes---they like Dr. Smith because he is their friend, despite what he does or doesn't do to them or for them. Their humanity rises above what they can get from him or what he can do for them. Yes, he is a pain and yes, he has been thrust on them, but they do get to like him, even Don does (THE SPACE TRADER). When John tells Zac, "Dr. Zachary Smith is our friend and we don't want to lose him," it is touching character bit that went by a lot of people. It makes the Robinsons look much better if they love a man of Smith's fallible personality. Drink Gloog and Make Sleemoth is repeated by lizard-man Deke in Carey Wilbur's inferior TREASURE OF THE LOST PLANET. Smeke is hairy and the make up job looks a bit like Kevin Hagen in this episode. Hagen, by the way, makes this alien work, even though the alien talks like Tarzan of the movies, "Me no want you, they no want you." Errors abound in books about this episode, stating Kevin Hagen went on to play a giant in LAND OF THE GIANTS' premiere episode. Hagen did play in LAND OF THE GIANTS but not in the first episode. He played a giant, Inspector Kobick in 12 episodes spread over the two seasons.